I can only imagine...

Who is Jesus??
As I'm trying to focus my whole being on who Jesus is to me. I can not get that song 'I can only imagine' from MercyMe out of my mind. This song fills me with peace and his wonder, I think that's the right word to describe the glorious moment that surrounds my being as I listen to the song, it's like as though I'm there with him. Which in turn reminds me of a sore moment from my childhood. I know it makes no sense but it will.

You see, as I contemplated who this Jesus is, especially to me. I was reminded of a particular moment in my childhood, and how he showed me he would never leave me.
On this occasion God was encouraging me to open up to a particular adult and confess that I had slept with my ex. I immediately thought this is nuts, what has it got to do with her.. and to this day I don't understand why I needed to tell her, but that is Gods problem not mine. Anyway, I finally bottled up the nerve to do so, and I expected the volcano of rage to erupt. But no such reaction happened that moment. And so the day Carrie's on.

Boom.

"Sharon come here I need to talk to you" my heart sank, and though I had no idea what would be said, my spirit kicked up a giant discernment alarm. So me being a teenager with a little snap In my tone of voice responds, "I'm getting a drink" which immediately followed "hurry up" as I hurried my way down stairs, my heart pounding. I quickly prayed "God I know what's coming and it wont be good, I need you with me please"

as I proceeded upstairs and sat down on to the bed. Low and behold I got what seemed like a hurricane thrown at me. Hurtful words, rage, a slap. I don't exactly recall every word and I don't need to. But what I do recall, and this is the only reason I'm sharing this, because this to me is Gods word coming alive.
 You see while I was sat in the mist of what felt like a tornado. This indescribable peace, and like a river it flowed in and through that moment like nothing I've ever felt before. It was as though Jesus had his arms wrapped around me. My very being was numb to the verbal, emotional and mental pain that was being hurled my way by the enemy behind the adult in the room. It was a glorious feeling. I couldn't help but smile. Which didn't help the situation, if anything it made it worse. But God despite the mess, never left me. This is one of many times he's done amazing things, and I know it wont be the last.. God will never abandon us even if we do make mistakes.
So to me, Jesus is like a river, where nothing but peace and joy, love and grace abounds so deep, and whatever we face in life, he will be there. I know there have been lots of times I've wondered where God is, but looking back, I see how blind I was, and how he was always there, he never left. hallelujah.

Jesus is my saviour and king: brother and friend. I'm not just saying this because I was brought up going to church, or because someone told me too. No I'm saying this because without the grace and mercy of God in my life I'd be rotting in jail, and a Greek jail at that.  You see God examines our hearts and our motives, and though we make mistakes, to which outwardly we are labelled by our mistakes by those around us. To God, he knows if a person made a mistake or genuinely meant every moment of their actions. And when I tried to get my husband away so I could calm down and breath, and I pushed too hard. God knew i didn't mean harm, I just needed breathing space. And through his amazing grace, I got to witness first hand, the miracle of God pushing Ben's body back over the banister so he was back on his own two feet, defying gravity. I don't think there is enough hours on this earth to show God how truly thankful I am for saving us both that day. So who is Jesus: well he is my rock and my salvation, it is through his grace and my relationship with him that I am able to be the Christian I am today, or even a Christian at all. If I were to rely on other Christians, or any other person. I would have easily slipped into depression or maybe worse. The only thing that gets me through life is Jesus. I love my life, my husband and four girls. But they don't fill that God shaped hole we all have inside us. No matter how hard life gets, nothing will take Jesus away from me. I hope and pray that, where ever you are you'll allow Jesus to do the impossible in your life.

Many have said, God isn't interested in me. God doesn't know who I am, let alone cares. I don't belong there. Let me introduce you to a man named zaccheus; (in the bible you'll find this testament in Luke 19:, 1-10 niv) this guy is what the professionals refer to as a first century Jew. I don't know how much you know about Jews in that era, I didn't know much until recently. When, where ever I turned to read a bible plan, everyone I opened in a period of two days spoke on zaccheus the chief tax collector. Also known as a traitor to his people. He made his fortune taking more money than needed from his own people and putting into his own pockets. Even in modern day times, I've not met one person who loves paying tax upon tax. Anyway he was despised by his people, as all tax collectors were, they were considered lowest of people. Well one one them anyway. Though this man had great wealth and could do as he pleased within reason. He wasn't very tall, so when he heard that Jesus was around, and curiosity tugged at his inner being. We read that he had a hard time trying to see him.

Going back to the phrase 'first century Jew' I learnt that men of those days were taught to act proper, sophisticated. They weren't to be seen running or climbing trees or jumping around in excitement. In all honesty it sounds like a boring life. Anyway, putting the jigsaw puzzle of this story together, you can imagine zaccheus had to juggle in his mind whether to keep up this sophistication act or defy it all and do what it takes to see Jesus. Little did he know that Jesus knew this anyway and was headed for him. If only he knew right, he could of waited for Jesus to approach him. But I believe it's more than that. Because the bible says mankind looks at the outward appearance but God searches the in most being (our heart) seeing Zaccheus's desperation and knowing the impact it would have on us gentiles 2000 plus years later. God made his move, and changed the life of a man deemed impossible by his culture at the time. And all it took was recognition and love. Too many people feel rejection and they believe they are unworthy of love. But that's where the bible most graciously proves us wrong. Jesus came for the sinners not the saints. The lost sheep not the ninety nine safe with their Sheppard. How wonderful is that reality. And that one act of love from Jesus caused Zaccheus to repay everything he had wrongly taken. Not just the exact amount but four times more. Can you imagine the sheer shock of those receiving the payments. As Jesus leaves zaccheus house he proclaims salvation has come to this household. Hallelujah. No one is impossible, for God to reach. Many people from all walks of life: colour, gender, sexuality, religion, social status are coming to know Jesus and their messiah. And God will not stop until he has completed what he started. Be blessed.

Let's pray
Father you are wonderful. Thank you for the cross and the sacrificial death Jesus encounter so we can be forgiven and set free from the trap of sin. May we have the curiosity like zaccheus to start seeking out who Jesus is or to continue to seek him. Thank you for all that you do for your creation, seen and unseen. We don't deserve it but because you are full of love you do it anyway. Help us to show the grace and mercy, love and patience for others as you do for us. Forgive your servant(s) for the mistakes of today. Help us to forgive those who may have caused pain of some sort in our lives. Please give us strength to overcome temptation from a day to day basis. Deliver us from evil, and thank you for all the times you have delivered us from the grasp of the enemy. May your will be done. In Jesus name amen